At the keyboard…

I was writing with paper and pen, the way that I need to do sometimes.  It seems to bring the words out more the typing at a keyboard.  However, I had to stop, put down the pen because the pain in my hand when I write.  Sometimes I try to convince myself that it is the way that I hold the pen, but I know that it is either arthritis, or neuropathy.

So here I am, at the keyboard and I don’t really remember what my thoughts were.  I guess I was writing about addiction, or starting to.  My addictions to be exact.  The truth is I never really had a problem with drinking.  I remember when I went into A.A. it was because of a cocaine habit, but the people there told me that I was an addict and that encompassed all drugs and alcohol is a drug they said.  In order to be allowed to speak in a meeting I had to identify as an alcoholic and by their logic I could.  So yes, in truth, I don’t drink because I really don’t like to.

Years later I was abusing Ritalin given to me by a doctor for ADHD.  It seems anything that is a stimulant is a problem for me, including caffeine, which is what brought all of this to mind to begin with.

I think it was two years ago that I stopped drinking coffee, but I started drinking tea, so it was not really getting away from caffeine.  When I started my job four months ago I started drinking Mountain Dew soda everyday.  Over loads of caffeine cause me physical pain and so last week I totally cut out all caffeine.  I am drinking decaffeinated tea, about one or two cups a day, water, crystal light and ginger ale.   John bought some cranberry ginger ale for me and it is really good.  He says they also have blackberry, so I might try that.

I admit this morning I had a half a can of mountain dew, but that was the only soda left in the house.  A little bit won’t hurt.

Anyway, the pain caused by the caffeine is now gone and I feel so much better.  One of the girls at work even commented that since I stopped drinking caffeine she can tell by the way I walk that I feel better.  I wonder how much better I would feel if I quit smoking cigarettes.  But that is another story entirely and not getting into it!

I guess I should let you all in on the whole scheduling mishaps at my job.  If you read my last post, then you know I asked my boss for a fixed schedule and she said that was fine.  Well…  She went on vacation and while she was gone things got worse!  The man who made out the next three weeks schedule changed everything again,only this time has me working every other day for one week and then for the next two has taken my fourth day away completely.  Ahhhhhh!

First thing, I need my hours.  Second, who wants to work the grave yard shift every other day.  This man is sadistic!  My boss came back from vacation this week, which is the week I am working every other day.  She swears she will fix it, so I have to keep looking at my schedule to see if it has changed.  I also talked to the woman who works in personnel and she said it would work itself out in a couple of weeks as far as the computer goes, so I don’t mind the mishaps as long as it does work out right soon.

Working overnight is a tough shift and I am still trying hard to get in some kind of rhythm going as far as when I am supposed to be living the rest of my life.  Of course the schedule makes that harder.  Especially every other day?  What is that?

As far as the rest of my life, I feel like I am doing nothing but sleeping and working.  It isn’t entirely true, I eat too!  I come home from work, a few hours later I go to sleep until I either get up and go back to work, or I wake up at about 10:30 at night and what does a person do in the middle of the night?  It is odd.  So I end up going back to sleep and then I get up in the morning with John, he goes to work and I end up falling back to sleep.  It is like I have no awake time unless I am at work.  I should mention the terrible cold I have had which is contributing to my sleeping, but honestly, I am bored.  Not to mention the rain.  Does it ever stop raining?

John and I have been fishing a couple of times this year already, but honestly the weather had been a damper, pun intended!  I am so looking forward to being out on the water with a temp of 80, that would be nice!  I haven’t caught a fish yet this year, but John has caught a few bass.

I would also like to be writing again.  Not just letting you all know I am still alive.  That was the reason for the pen and paper.  It just works out better that way, but my hands are bothering me, probably also the weather.  I will get to it.