I have been going on craigslist everyday and I have filled out a few more applications.  As of yet, I have only had one call and that was from Walmart.  Honestly, I filled out that application as practice and I do not want to work there.  (I’ve heard bad things)

I had one suggestion for a caretaker’s job, working with adults with mental disabilities.  I did not find any for that, but I did find a few hiring to be care taker’s for the elderly.  Requirements being that you either, have a certificate of some sort, one that I don’t have, or it may help if you have taken care of a parent.

Ever since my mother passed away in 2006, I have always thought I would like to work with Hospice, or simply the elderly in some way.  This would be a wonderful job for me, except for a couple of things.  The company is based an hour from here, that is to far.  Secondly, I don’t know if I am the right kind of person anymore.

I started to volunteer at a senior center about two years ago.  After three weeks I quit.  The problem for me was that although I loved being with the seniors that came in, I could not stand the other volunteers, or the woman in charge.  She was very nice to me, that was not the problem.  It was that there was no cooperation, no organization, nobody cared about the seniors.  They spent half their time complaining about them and I just didn’t understand why they were there at all.  When I asked them, they all said just for something to do.  Piss poor reason to be there.

On my last day there, three gentlemen came to me and said, “We need you, keep coming.”  It still bothers me that they do need people like me, but no one in their right mind would want to be there.  Maybe if I hadn’t been going through such a hard time in my own life I would have kept going, but it didn’t happen that way.

I do love being around the elderly.  They tell the best stories ever.  But I digress.  Am I that kind of person anymore?  The kind of person that can give of themselves like that?  I don’t know and I had better figure it out.  I’ve been thinking of volunteering at the nursing home here in town a couple of days a week or something.  I know volunteering can be put on a job application and maybe if I volunteer, I will know if that is really what I want to do.  By that time, maybe I will find a company closer to where I am.

By the way, have I mentioned lately that I am terrified of actually getting a job.  Even more, having to go on more job interviews?  I guess it is not abnormal to not like a job interview.  Fear itself is pretty normal in this situation I guess, for me anyway.