What is ok to say?

I sometimes wonder, who read my blog anyway?  Is it anyone from my personal life that might not like what I have to say?  I don’t think so, but sometimes that thought holds me back.

So John and I are getting married in September.  The plans are going great.  Our wedding is what you would technically call an Elopement, but I don’t particularly like that word.  So I will be using the word “wedding”.  Anyway,  we are staying at a Bed and Breakfast for three nights.  We will be married there by the Justice of the Peace.  They will have for us a small cake, photography, bouquet and boutonniere. (Had to use spell check on that one!)  We have the option of inviting six people.  After the ceremony we will all sit down to high tea.  I am very excited about that!  Love a good tea party!

So yes, we had the option of inviting six people to the wedding, which we did.  John’s parents and two of his sisters.  I invited my oldest friends and her husband of 23 years.  So as you can see, John invited four and I invited two.  I thought this was fair since he has a very large family and I don’t have any.  I do consider my friend to be family though.

When we let John’s family know, his sister Donna, who is invited, wanted to know if we could invite five more.  You see, John is the youngest of eight and she wanted all the brothers and sisters there.  With the Inn we are staying at that would be possible if we went with another package, but that would be a lot more money that we don’t have, not to mention it isn’t the size wedding we wanted.  We told her no, and she was fine with that.  However, she did say she wanted to throw us a reception after where everyone could be invited.  That would be just fine with me.  Fun actually.  I was excited.

The bad news is, Donna broke a pin that was previously put into her foot with surgery.  Now she has to have surgery again and the recovery is going to be a year.  Donna is in her sixties, but a very active woman.  Needless to say, we are unsure when she is going to have the surgery and so she may or may not make it to the wedding.  Forget about the party, I will not even mention that to her.  I just want her to take care of herself, although I am disappointed that she out of everyone in his family won’t be there.  I really like her and she is the oldest.  I thought it was fitting.

As far as the wedding goes, if she can’t be there we have one open invite.  Before I get into that, I would like to talk about something else.  A realization that I had.  I have never before had a mother-in-law.  I’m quickly coming to the conclusion that I like father-in-laws much better.

(See this is where I start to wonder, who is going to read this.  But whatever.)

So we know so far that we could invite six people.  We also know that I told John to go ahead and invite his parents and two sisters and I would invite two people.  Sounds fair, right?  Apparently not to John’s mother.  John’s mother wanted to know why my friends husband was coming instead of John’s sister Christine.  Are you serious?  Are you kidding me?   Conveniently John’s mother did not say this to me, or in front of me.  John repeated what she said, which could be seen as a mistake.  My reaction to this is “How about we go back to John invites three people and I invite three people.  I have a couple of people I would love to invite.  My friend Sally and her husband.  My friend Anne.  Why not one of those people?   Especially since Donna may not be going and so now, yes, that invite is open as far as I am concerned.

Let me just say that if John’s mother had never said that, or John had never repeated it to me, I would be happy to just let the invite slide to Christine.  Now though, I am pissed and I am going to fantasize about inviting someone to the wedding other than Christine, just out of spite.

I won’t actually do it.  That would be childish and selfish to John.  I just can’t get over the fact that she said that though.  This man she thinks doesn’t need to be there has been a part of my life for twenty five years.  Come on now.  Let’s be considerate.

So yes, I guess that Christine is next in line even though I would love to invite Sally, or Anne.  Anne would be the perfect person to be at a tea party.  Ha!  Even though I am still aggravated and will probably remain that way until I complain enough.

So Claire is the friend I did invite, and her husband is Micheal.  I have known Claire for about 45 years.  She is the closest thing I have to family.  Anne is her sister.  She also has another sister Pauline.  They have all been very good to me when I was going through the harder times.  Now as well of course.

Claire went with me to try on wedding dresses.  I can’t say much about the dress itself, because I know John might read this and he doesn’t want to know anything about the dress until the day we get married.  I can say though that I went to David’s Bridal and had such a good experience there.  The woman gave me every possible option, while keeping me under my budget, which by the way was only $200.  Even when I wanted to give up and raise my budget, she wouldn’t let me and I left very happy.

The sad news is that when I went to pick up my dress a month later, I had eaten to many mounds candy bars and couldn’t breath in the dress.  No more candy bars for me!  I also brought home the wrong size undergarment and David’s Bridal had no problem reordering and swapping the two.

I love the dress.  Wish I could say more, post a picture, but of course, there is John.




10 thoughts on “What is ok to say?

  1. Hi TC. Lovely to hear from you again, and huge congrats to you and John. I am very happy for both of you. My perspective on invitations to personal events is quite simple, and to use your wedding plans as an example.

    It is your wedding, and it is up to you to invite who you wish.
    If additional suggestions are made by others, it is for you accept/decline as you feel fit, and up to them to respect your decision.
    If somebody gets upset by your decision, they have the choice to attend your wedding regardless, or not attend.

    You and John owe it to yourselves to make it a very memorable day, and NOBODY has the right to complicate things for you. Don’t compromise this day because of somebody else TC. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh weddings.
    My parents refuse to admit I’m married (same sex marriage).
    My wife’s family is ridiculously adorable.
    My wife’s older brother eloped. So we got married in my in-laws living room on Christmas Eve.
    A family friend married us, a former nun wrote our certificate and was one of our witnesses. Three people refused to attend because “gay marriage”.

    Do what you and John agree to do. In-laws aren’t your priority, your marriage is.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s