As I mentioned in this morning’s post, I went to sleep at 3pm yesterday and didn’t wake up until this morning. That was at about 5:30am. I wasn’t nearly as nervous as I was yesterday, but I kept thinking yesterday’s mishap would happen again. Thankfully, it didn’t.
I found my locker just fine, combination on the first try, everything went well. I can’t say I was perfectly calm, but I just kept thinking the worst that could happen already did yesterday and I lived through it. So my stomach was calm, which is what I wanted most of all.
I don’t know how long this computer training is for exactly. We were all given a schedule for this week during the day to complete it, but I don’t know if it necessarily will take that long. Then we start working nights on each of our assigned jobs. There were two others that started with me, but they have different jobs than I do.
My job is to stock shelves overnight in a department store. I am not even going to begin to try to explain how a computer is training me to do this. It simply is.
I honestly don’t like sitting at the computer. It is good to know that, because I have always wondered if I would like a desk job. Apparently not. My butt was falling asleep sitting on that hard chair, and during that last hour I was having a hard time paying attention. My hat is off to anyone who can sit at a computer all day, but not me.
I am looking forward to going on nights and actually doing what I was hired for. Of course that leaves me wondering if I will get nervous again. I know it all sounds so simple, but there are reasons I feel the way I do. I get very overwhelmed by all this new stuff. I guess the biggest thing for me is people. I don’t spend much time with people and I haven’t in a while. I had absolutely no idea how many people there are working in a department store at one time, but it is a lot. There are only a few that I talk to while I am there, but most of the other employees will say hello, which is nice. Anyway, even the people I talk to, I don’t have to engage them much because most of the time I am at the computer with headphones on.
Another overwhelming part of all this is the fact that I am spoiled. I am used to being able to do what I want, when I want. At home, if I am sitting in a hard uncomfortable chair, I would move, or grab a pillow and sit on it. At work I can’t do either. I don’t think they would be thrilled with my going to the bedding department to get a pillow for myself. So yes, I am spoiled in that way. I say spoiled, but being able to move around and do what you want when you want is a great thing when you have peripheral neuropathy. I guess I never really noticed how much I move around until I was sitting at that computer without moving. But I did move, a lot. I fidgeted in my seat. I sat up straight, then I slouched, then I slunk down in my chair. Then I fidgeted some more. But that’s me I guess. I just want to go on the record as saying that I was not hired to sit still. It was never mentioned in my job description.
I guess I just feel like babbling right now. I guess that is because I am happy about the new job. Much happier than I was yesterday. Yesterday I felt defeated. Today, yesterday is no big deal.