Well, the cats pretty much lost interest in the tree, so we decided to put up a few strings of lights on it. It did kind of look a bit dreary without them after all. Now it looks a real Christmas tree.
As for me, I feel a bit dreary myself. I didn’t get a call yesterday from that job, so I am assuming I did not get it. Yesterday afternoon, after a time which I thought I should have gotten a call, I went on craigslist, looking for other jobs. I did find one I wanted to apply for and so I applied online. I don’t really expect to get a call from this one. It is kind of out of my reach I think, but a lot of things are out of my reach.
I have no education past a GED. I haven’t worked in over 20 years. I am 47 years old. Now I don’t know much about the work force. Is my age a problem? I don’t know. My lack of education is on my last nerve, on top of the fact that I spent my life serving my family, I never thought of myself at this age looking for a job after all this time and it being hard. I should have considered this back then.
Now I understand I had one job interview. I actually only filled out one application to get that interview and here I am feeling all defeated. Can’t help it. I realize I am to be done sulking by now, but clearly I am not. I won’t let my residual sulking stop me for further job searching, but I am now considering different ways to go about it. I know that if I do have a hard time finding a job, which I can’t really say I have even put any effort into it thus far, but if I do, I can get help with this. I could go for job placement through disability. The truth is, I don’t want to. I want to do this on my own.
And then I wonder if my pride is going to stand in my way. The idea of getting training for a job I otherwise wouldn’t have is starting to look awfully good.