My poor empty blog…

“My poor empty blog.”   That’s what she sat there thinking as she stared at the computer screen.

No sleep for thirty-six hours and she stares at the screen.  Taking a sip of tea, she then lights a cigarette.  She thinks about her day and leans back to stretch.   The hours drive to visit an old friend and coming into that town with so many familiar places, it brought so many memories and odd emotions washing over her.  She never thought about how long she had lived there before, but it was quite a long time it seemed while driving down the main road, the little league park on the left, should she take the next left?  No, that would bring her by the school and she doesn’t want to see the school.  She doesn’t want to go that way, to many more familiar things and maybe, if she took that left, she could go back to the beginning, but no.  Why go backwards, just move forwards and then she feels  lump in her throat for a moment or two.

She wonders, “Why does everything always have to seem so unreal?”  and then she is turning onto another road and there it is, the next turn up there and just around the corner, there is the house.

He is at the door, opening it for her.  On the phone he waves to her to sit down.  She sits in a comfortable kitchen chair and looks around at he Christmas decorations.  A smile slowly appears, “It’s like nothing has changed.”

He hangs up the phone, “How are you he says…”   “I’m good and how are you?  she asks. Conversation like it used to be, only unreal, like everything else seems to be and she is listening and watching him, taking in so much information while making wishes in her mind that maybe things really could feel the same, but there not and she wonders while listening to him, he hasn’t changed a bit.  And it’s wonderful and it’s strange to be here in this house.  How many times she has been here before and now those memories are coming to her.  How many Christmas’, she doesn’t remember, but they were beautiful and her heart sinks a little.

They drive to a restaurant she hasn’t been to in years.  The food is wonderful, the restaurant quiet.  It is like it used to be, only different and it feels confusing and peaceful at the same time.

She is on the road home.  It is odd how things change and stay the same at once.  What was it that changed?

She lights another cigarette and stares at the screen.

 

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3 thoughts on “My poor empty blog…

  1. That ‘s good. Given the “challenging” relationships in your life, it is good to maintain the positive ones. They (positive ones) are the ones that will help get you through the more traumatic times when things seem to be falling apart. Surround yourself with as many positive influences as possible. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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