It is hard for me to write at times because my perspective is always changing so quickly. I have done a lot of growing over the past few years. I have come to a lot of realizations about life and about people. Also, a lot of realizations about myself.
It is true that my views on these things are completely different than they were three years ago. Two years ago. A year ago, two weeks ago, a day ago. Everyday it changes, narrows and widens to analyze and understand.
One important thing I have learned about myself is that my mind is analytical and I perceive things very literally. I am not able to change my initial perceptions, but it helps to know that other people don’t think the way that I do. They don’t speak quite as literally as I do.
An odd part of this for me is that being a person who perceives things so literally, you would imagine I would not partake in sarcasm, but nothing could be further from the truth. It gets confusing to say the least at times.
It has been an odd feeling for me the past couple of years, with things happening the way that they did. I found myself in a position of not having any family, or any real ties other than John. It has been a very bizarre experience. Feeling as though I have no root anywhere at all. I’ve wondered “Who am I?” so many times, with no answer to be found.
I visited with one of my sisters yesterday. Once again, brought together by circumstances at first. I hadn’t seen her in over a year. I missed her and when I saw her she gave me a lot of hugs. I noticed while talking with her that if I kept in mind my perception differences, our conversation went differently than it has in the recent past. We talked about a lot of things trying to gain and understanding of each other.
It was really good to see my sister. I am looking forward to seeing her again.