I wish I could crack open my head and take out all these memories of you and the things that you said to me. Those words that linger in my mind, your lips dripping with arrogance as you held me in contempt prior to investigation.
But there was no investigation. I was held to scrutiny with no facts from reality at all and I stand here hoping that when I open my eyes your voice will leave me and I won’t remember you at all.
I thought you were so strong, independent, the kind of person to think for yourself, but I forgot one thing. Your mind is so closed and your words they hurt me, broke my heart to hear from you when I was your friend and I didn’t understand and you wouldn’t stop and I silently begged you to stop.
But I open my eyes and even though you aren’t standing there, you never will be, I remember and I feel sad and I feel angry and I feel confused and I wonder sometimes, do you think about me at all, my friend. My old friend.
I thought we would grow to be old woman together, calling each other on the phone, visiting for tea, but that won’t be happening and I look back and think, “Was I blind?”