Confession of an Ax Murderer…

I have an admission to make.  I am in fact an ax murderer.  Yes, it is true.  Sadly, I am a bit lazy and I have problems with procrastination, so I haven’t actually gotten around to doing anything with that yet.  I haven’t made it to the hardware store to buy an ax and so I have never actually used one on anything other than splitting wood and that was forever ago.

So I also have to admit that my resume as an ax murderer, it is pretty bare.  Fine, I admit it, I don’t even have a resume.

I feel like a failure, but I really think coming out with this is going to make me feel much better about myself.  I am the most unaccomplished ax murderer there ever was.  I just can’t seem to get it together.

My attention span is that of a door knob.  I try to focus, really, I do, but a butterfly zips by and there I am… “Oooh, pretty…”  The task at hand is completely forgotten and then next thing I know I am sitting somewhere eating cake.

So yesterday, I was eating cake.  I got it from a bakery on Saturday.  Chocolate cake with white sugary frosting.  I ate a lot of cake yesterday.  I drank a lot of coffee too, and then had some soda that sent me over the edge.  By nightfall, I was feeling a little sick.  Maybe a lot sick.  I swore I would stay away from the remaining cake.

So I just got up and retrieved that last piece of cake.  I wouldn’t want it to get stale or anything.  John doesn’t like it, so I wouldn’t want it to go to waste.  It is really good, just ask me, I’ll tell you.

Cake goes well with coffee.  I’m waiting for a friend to call, she said she might want to go for coffee.  That would be great, she is one of the realest people I have ever met.  She is also one of those friends I have that suggests I drink decaf, I am not really sure why.

Wait, where was I going with this?  Cake?  No.  Well, whatever, I guess I can figure that out tomorrow.  I think I am going to go take a nap.

 

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18 thoughts on “Confession of an Ax Murderer…

  1. Hahahaha! Good stuff, Triple.

    In that sense, I’m a wife killer–only there’s never a blunt instrument around when I want one, and as yet, I have no pickup truck, and no wood chipper. However, I do have a large capacity freezer.

    Oh, the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: You won’t believe this one,,, | tripleclicka

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